Greetings from Istanbul! Some of you may be wondering why you haven’t heard from me in a while.  The quick summary is that my father died in January, I became depressed, and decided to shake myself out of it by moving to Turkey.  In keeping with my decision to move to a completely foreign country on a whim, the theme for today is “Calculated Risk or Foolishness?” This will be particularly relevant for any of you considering a major life change.  For those who are curious why I decided on Turkey, please see “Mind vs Heart: Moving to Turkey.”  

           YES, I AM STILL COACHING CLIENTS IN THE U.S.  I do most of my work by phone, and my phone numbers haven’t changed.  Don’t hesitate to call.  (Turkey is seven hours ahead of Eastern time, ten hours ahead of Pacific time.  Call anytime, though.  I work odd hours and turn off my phone at night.)  Staying in touch and doing business from abroad is unbelievably easy nowadays.  In contrast, I lived in Japan for three years right after college, and during the first year I was still sending handwritten letters (not email)!

           I will be in the D.C. area for a couple weeks in August.  If you have been considering coaching, give me a call, and we can set up a time to chat in person!

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With love and joy

           Very often “brilliance” is really just a risk that turned out well.  If a situation ends badly does that mean pursuing that avenue was foolish?  After coaching people for more than a decade,   this is my two cents on the subject.  The difference between a calculated risk and foolishness is that a risk is something that you feel you must do in order to be true to yourself.  It is not always easy to determine, but this is a very different inquiry from evaluating what is objectively the best, smartest, or most sensible choice.  I’m going to go out on a limb and say that robbing a bank is not something that anyone does to be true to themselves.  With most life choices, however, it is a subjective, personal determination.  I decided to move to Istanbul.  For some people it might be foolishness.  For me it was a calculated risk.

            Should you start a new business?  Want to quit your job and pursue a writing career?  Considering blowing the whistle on illegal or immoral activity in your office?  Should you marry your partner (or divorce your spouse)?  I talk to people all the time who are fighting with themselves over whether or not to take a risk.   How do you know when you are being true to yourself versus when social pressure, fear or bad habits are running the show?  You can tell the difference by listening to your body. When you think about taking that leap, do you feel energized?  Do you have a sinking sensation?  Sometimes we fool our brains into wanting the socially sanctioned, or “sensible” thing, but our bodies always know what is right for us.  This is why major life decisions should be made at a gut level.  We can rationalize the decision afterwards—and check in with ourselves to make sure we are not doing something disastrously stupid.  However, if your main reason for starting a business, moving to a new location, or getting married is essentially because you deeply, truly, consistently WANT it, and NEED to do this thing to feel fully alive, then it is probably in keeping with your most authentic self. 
           
            Sometimes people think that, as a coach, I tell people what to do.  That is not the case.  I help individuals determine what is right for themselves. Of course, this article barely scratches the surface of a complicated and subtle subject.   How do you evaluate and address those objections floating around in your head (and out the mouths of your friends and family)?   What degree of change is best for you?  Should you quit your job and open a pottery studio or just take an art class?  Once you have made your decision, how do you get your friends, family or colleagues on board?  Sorting through this alone can be daunting.  If you are at a crossroads and have been unable to determine which way to go, send me an email.  I will help you figure out what is right for you!

           I moved to Turkey. Why?  The simplest answer is whim.  It just felt like the right thing to do.  Of course, I could come up with a bunch of reasons not to—blah blah blah, practical stuff, blah blah blah, my business, blah blah blah, I don’t speak Turkish…  You can always come up with reasons NOT to do something.  I knew that I wanted to live abroad again at some point since living in Japan and Thailand had both been wonderful experiences.  When I came to Turkey on vacation in April, I just kept thinking,“I could totally live here.  Why shouldn’t I just move?”  So, I decided to take the leap.  Istanbul happens to meet all my major criteria.  First of all, it is a fascinating place culturally.  The religious/secular dynamic is so wacky that in some places they actually require that you drink alcohol at work functions (presumably to prove that you are not a radical Muslim).  Also, Turkey fits what I am looking for socially: (1) Istanbul has a really good social dance scene—specifically Tango, believe it or not; (2) people are very friendly and like foreigners; (3) dating is NOT a problem for foreign women—unlike in Japan; and (4) I have a close friend living here already.   

           I love living abroad because it is just so interesting. You find yourself in strange situations that you would never experience at home.  I’ve found myself going down a dark alley in China in the pouring rain with complete strangers to attend a goat roast.  I’ve been at the front of an elementary school assembly in Japan singing (to the tune of Michael Row Your Boat Ashore) “Anna-sensei has come to teach us English. Hallelujah. Isn’t it great? We’re going to learn about America.  Hallelujah.”  These things just wouldn’t happen living in DC.  I’ll keep you posted on my adventures!