Dear Friends,
This month’s theme is “Being Powerful in Adverse Circumstances” and is particularly targeted towards people who are facing possible job loss or declining income. No matter how good we are at managing our lives, it is always possible to be more satisfied or more efficient. This is particularly true as stress and anxiety increase. This issue discusses and provides practices related to: gratitude, well-being, integrity, decision making, and five year plans. Also, check out this month’s “Learning from Lawyers” article about mediating business disputes and the book recommendation, which provides a light and fun approach to addressing organizational crises. I’ve been getting a lot of questions lately about career coaching, so I have included information on that topic as well.
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With love and joy,
Anna |
“Circumstances do not make the man, they reveal him.”
James Allen |
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We have a lot to be thankful for, and the more we focus on gratitude the happier and more peaceful we become. There are many tools and techniques you can use to focus on gratitude. This is one of my favorite. Every night make a list of five things for which you are thankful. Often it is useful to focus on small things: “I am grateful that my friend S trusts me enough to confide in me; that my hair looked good today; that I can afford fancy vegetables; that my friend’s baby was born healthy; that my house is warm.” The more specific, the better. Another approach is to notice the things that frustrated you during the day and look for an aspect of that situation that you appreciate. If you have boss who micromanages and drives you nuts, you can focus on being grateful that you have a job or that the secretary gave you a cookie. If you became angry at the crazy driver who cut you off, you can be grateful that no one was injured. As an added bonus, you can email your list daily to a group of friends. |
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When faced with new or difficult circumstances, it becomes more important than ever to stay grounded in your values, create an inspiring vision for your future, maintain your integrity, and take good care of yourself.
Make Decisions Based Upon Your Values – When faced with job loss, a declining economy or other adverse circumstances, it is natural to make decisions based on fear rather than on your values. Yet, we start to get into trouble when use logic to determine our major life decisions. Logic has a place. It is an effective tool for winning arguments. Logic generally focuses on factors like money, time and practicality. It is a great way to figure out how to do something; but if you are using it to figure out what to do, what goal to follow, you may become very good at a profession or an activity that doesn’t make you happy. Our fears are often disproportional to the level of actual danger. Think about what is most important to you, who you really want to be in the world, and keep that in mind when making career and business choices.
Health and Well-being – Please do not underestimate the impact of health and well-being on your ability to achieve goals. While staying up all night and working long hours may be necessary in some jobs, and you may be able to function reasonably well under such circumstances, it is very detrimental when you are making important decisions about your life or business, or trying to persuade people to hire you. No one is at their best when they are exhausted, not eating right, or not getting the emotional or spiritual support that they need. When we are not taking care of ourselves, we are more likely to become upset, to overreact, and to feel anxious. Even when we think we are projecting confidence or friendliness, others can see beyond the surface. Take some time to write down a few actions that you could take every day to improve your level of self care, and notice the effect this has on your work and your family.
Integrity – Are your words, intentions and actions aligned? This is not about right and wrong; it is about what works. If we don’t show up on time, or don’t pay our bills on time, or continue to nurture old resentments, life requires more effort, leads to more frustration and leaves us with less energy for the things that are important to us. Along with well-being, integrity is the foundation for your ability to achieve what you desire. Most of us have some area of life that we avoid: finances, getting the oil changed, cleaning out the basement, organizing files, etc. These are the things that sap our energy and enthusiasm and make it difficult to move forward. Make a list of things that you have been avoiding and start addressing them. Writing down everything may seem overwhelming. No matter how long the list is, it will be finite; and that will make it feel more manageable. Addressing the items on your integrity list will energize you and make it much easier to send out resumes or proposals and generally make you more effective in everything you do.
Create a Five Year Plan that Excites You – As human beings, our levels of joy and satisfaction are less a result of our current situation than of our interpretations and judgments about what the current circumstances mean for our future. Making a financial sacrifice or working with a difficult person is tolerable when you see it as temporary – though if you believed the situation would continue for twenty years, you might become upset or depressed. If you create a long-term goal and begin to take small actions to move in that direction, your current situation will seem much more pleasant and manageable. This is not about tricking yourself or positive thinking; it is about creating a context for your current situation that is empowering, and moves you down a path that inspires you.
If you would like to explore any of these topics further, feel free to contact us for a complimentary sample session.
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By Loretta J. Garcia*
Mediation is becoming a preferred method for resolving some types of business disputes. The mediator works with the clients to help clarify the issues and find a mutually agreeable solution. There are many advantages to mediation as a means of conflict resolution.
- Mediation may save you time and money. Disputes typically resolve more quickly when handled through mediation rather than by courtroom litigation.
- Mediation provides an opportunity for you to say what is important to you and to hear the other person's perspective.
- Mediation can help protect your privacy because it is a confidential process, unlike a court proceeding.
- You have decision-making power in mediation, and you know what your needs are better than a judge or jury.
- A mediator can help you to reach an agreement that preserves or builds the relationship in conflict.
- In mediation, you and the other party can find creative, customized solutions that work for both of you.
* Loretta J. Garcia is an attorney licensed to practice law in Maryland and the District of Columbia. Her legal and mediation practice centers on employment law, family law and estates & probate matters. Visit Ms. Garcia’s website at: www.lorettagarcialaw.com, or contact her at attorneygarcia@verizon.net.
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If you are an attorney and would like to market yourself, please write a brief article (150-200 words), on an area of the law that would be interesting or useful to small business owners or attorneys, and email it, along with a brief description of your practice, to anna@excellerationcoaching.com. |
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The title is not just a metaphor. This is actually a picture book about penguins who are dealing with a crisis. It is also a parable about organizational change written by one of the foremost experts on the subject at the Harvard Business School. The story explores the process by which crises come to the attention of leadership, the different types of personalities that are needed for a leadership team to implement large-scale change, how to get the whole organization on board with a change, etc. This book emphasizes the role of communication, addresses the emotional issues which arise in the face of change, and provides a low-threat tool to initiate discussions and normalize the experiences that often attend organizational change. Some businesses have even given a copy of this book to all employees to encourage them to consider their relationship to change and how their talents can best contribute. Have fun with this!
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The intention of career coaching is to help people clarify what they really want professionally, design a project plan for reaching that goal, and provide support and accountability through implementation. Below is an example of what might be covered over the course of a two month (eight session) career coaching engagement. The specific content and pace of an individual’s career coaching sessions is completely customized to that person’s needs and preferences. For someone considering a job transition, career coaching might look like this:
Session 1 – Values
Look at the client’s life from a variety of angles and identify the ten values which are most essential to his happiness and satisfaction. He then ranks his top three career options, using the values list as a barometer.
Session 2 – Designing a Plan
Choose a career goal and design a plan for achieving that objective. The project design format includes a vision, resources, skills, milestones, rewards, etc.
Session 3 – Completion
Consider what the client has learned or gained in his current job, identify what is finished or unfinished, make declarations about moving forward, etc. This reduces drama and gets people grounded in reality from a powerful perspective.
Session 4 – Well-being
Discuss the client’s relationship to his well-being and explore what actions he could take to increase his level of energy and enthusiasm.
Session 5 – Breakdowns
Consider the difference between a problem and a breakdown. Practice using breakdown tools to regain power and get back on track.
Session 6 – Making Powerful Requests
Examine preconceptions about what it means if someone says “yes” or “no.” Identify requests that would have the highest impact on propelling the career project forward. Practice having those conversations.
Session 7 – Trust and Faith
Explore the client’s relationship to trusting himself, others and God/spirit/universe. Consider actions he can take to strengthen his sense of faith and/or trust.
Session 8 – Moving Forward
Reassess the career project and revise as needed. Ensure that the client is complete with the coaching experience and set up to move forward powerfully.
Clients commit to accomplish certain goals between one session and the next. The coach checks in on the actions and works with the client to address any barriers that may have interfered with completing those tasks. Some of the work between sessions is directly related to a job search, such as revising a resume or conducting an informational interview, while additional practices are designed to increase clarity or self-awareness.
We offer career coaching for individuals as well as outplacement services for law firms and other organizations. For further information, please contact us at 310-588-3947 or info@ excellerationcoaching.com |
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Anna Rappaport, Esq. has been coaching professionals since 1999, and now specializes in leadership development for attorneys. She works with clients to help them manage staff, partners and clients more effectively; create and stay on track with career and business goals; expand business development and maintain a sustainable work-life balance. Anna’s clients are already highly accomplished people who are interested in achieving even greater success and satisfaction. Anna’s one-on-one coaching takes place by phone, and she works with clients across the country. Anna is based in the Washington, DC area.
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