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March 2009
Dear Friends,
Life can feel heavy and overly serious sometimes. So this month’s theme is “Serious Silliness.” While I genuinely recommend the practices contained in this newsletter, please recognize that they are not for everyone and may seem strange, immature or just plain nuts. For more conventional content, check out our previous newsletters. If you are interested in a lighter approach to internal conflicts, want to know what dinosaurs have to do with coaching or would like to shift your relationship to money, read on. Also, in light of this unconventional content, rather than having an article from an attorney, this month’s outside expert is a naturopathic doctor and certified aromatherapist who provides information on essential oils. Have fun!
With love and joy,
Anna |
“If people did not sometimes do silly things, nothing intelligent would ever get done”
Ludwig Wittgenstein |
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Try talking to the people who live in your head and find out what they want. You don’t have to have a psychological disorder to have multiple voices in your head. One voice says “go for it, have the ice cream.” The other voice says, “you are too fat, eat a carrot.” Since they are there anyway, you might want to get clear about who they are and what they want. Generally, we try to ignore the voices in our heads or we take them way too seriously. But they are people too J, and you will all get along much better if you give them some attention--without believing everything they say.
As grown-ups, we are often so busy that we ignore any “weak” or “needy” voices. My pro-ice cream voice is often a little sad and lonely and wants some comfort. If I just ignore her, she gets more and more agitated, until she starts to interfere with all of my “productive” activities. Have a little chat, find out what that voice wants and give it a cookie (not literally – just something to distract it or satisfy its needs). Maybe it will take a bubble bath in lieu of a cookie, or maybe a conversation with a good friend. So try it out. Say hello to your needy voice, ask its name and find out what it wants. Then you can negotiate rather than be blindsided later on.
Most of us give way too much credence to the mean voice – you know, the voice that criticizes you mercilessly and is never satisfied. We get it confused with responsibility or think that we need the mean voice to keep us in line. What does your mean voice look like? Mine is a little old lady who screams constantly, has a rabid look in her eyes and sometimes carries a whip. Once I started seeing her as a psycho little witch, it was easier to ignore her. Of course, even she may have a valid point now and then, but I find that I am much more productive when I approach anything she says with a large grain of salt.
Some voices don’t speak as clearly and are harder to get a handle on. Fear stops or slows down most of us to one degree or another, especially when we are trying or considering something completely new – changing jobs, careers, marital status, moving to a new country, etc. Since fear is abstract and often doesn’t have a coherent message, it is scarier and often more difficult to manage than the other voices. Try visualizing your fear and drawing a picture of it. Maybe it will turn out to be a huge, black, tumultuous cyclone, or maybe it will be a big, fat demon with red horns and sharp claws. Fear, like the other voices, often just wants some attention. Plus, it’s hard to be intimidated by something that is posted on your wall. |
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When was the last time you got a gold star for doing a good job? You work hard. You deserve some stars. Yes, just like when you were little. I did this recently and found it surprisingly motivating. Try setting a goal, and then make a chart to track your progress. Give yourself a sticker every time you take particular actions. You can use this method to track when you go to the gym, make business development calls, send out resumes, etc. This may sound silly, but it is a visual aid to help you stay focused on the goal, and it’s more fun than just crossing something off a list. When you accumulate a certain number of stickers, give yourself a reward. When I tried this, I used sparkly stars, hearts, happy faces and dinosaurs. Some days I wouldn’t want to do something, but would get motivated by promising myself a dinosaur. Now my friends often ask if an activity will earn me a dinosaur, or someone will comment that a particular activity ought to be worth at least two stickers! If you would like your very own ready-made chart with convenient sticker-sized squares, just sent me an email with the subject line “sticker chart,” and I will send you a couple different designs. I’m not kidding. It can take a surprisingly long time to create a good chart. |
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By Katherine Krupka*
Essential oils are potent healing agents for the body, mind and spirit. Therapeutic-grade essential oils can assist with everyday challenges like scraped knees, headaches, insomnia, digestive problems and joint pain, as well as more serious conditions. Did you know …?
- 15% remission was achieved in advanced colon and breast cancer using 1-15 grams of d-limonene from orange oil as the only treatment (Charing Cross Hospital, London)
- Clove oil is the highest antioxidant substance known, with an ORAC rating of 1.078,700
- The Thieves blend of rosemary, cinnamon, clove and lemon oils was found to kill 99% of certain strains of pathogenic airborne bacteria after only 12 minutes of diffusing (Weber State University)
- At .02% concentration or less, sandalwood, hyssop, myrtle, and tsuga oils strongly inhibited cancer cell growth while not damaging normal cells (Brigham Young University)
* Katherine Krupka is a naturopathic doctor and certified clinical aromatherapist. She has studied in the French medical tradition as well as in advanced spiritual applications. Visit Ms. Krupka’s website at:http://katherinekrupka.com, or contact her at kkrupka@gmail.com.
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Next month, this section will return to being written by Attorneys. If you are an attorney and would like to market yourself, please write a brief article (150-200 words), on an area of the law that would be interesting or useful to small business owners or attorneys, and email it, along with a brief description of your practice, to anna@excellerationcoaching.com.
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Check out this video of a guy dancing all over the world. Fun and oddly inspiring. It took 14 months, 42 countries, and a cast of thousands. Click here.
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ABC’s of Happiness – Not for children, by Mark Yablonovich and Juliet Kaska. Illustrated by Scot Ritchie
This is a picture book, but it really isn’t for kids, as some of the pictures have adult themes. It is mostly intended as a fun gift book, but it also has useful coaching practices to go along with each letter. A is for Acceptance, B is for Balance, etc. Each letter of the alphabet comes with a couple of silly phrases and quirky pictures, and then there are some coaching or meditation practices related to each topic.
I Love You Stinky Face, by Lisa McCourt. Illustrated by Cyd Moore
This one really is for children – young children, but I find it moving in a light, silly way. It only has two or three hundred words, but asks the eternal question, “Would you still love me if……?” The format is a child asking its mother questions like, “But Mama, but Mama, what if I were an alligator with big, sharp teeth?” And Mama answers, “I’d buy you a bigger toothbrush.” You get the idea. It’s very cute, and a great reminder about the importance of unconditional love.
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Many of us have a funny relationship to money. We give it significance way beyond its merits. We act like it means something about our worth as human beings, our potential, or the degree to which others will love us. This is one way to practice creating a lighter, more playful relationship to money. Answer this question. What are ten things you could do with money? Now, rather than saying the normal things that you usually buy, e.g., food, shelter, medical insurance, etc., brainstorm a list of things that you could do with money that would be fun or just plain strange. For example:
- I could buy 100 rubber duckies and stand on the street corner giving them out to strangers.
- I could buy a pack of gum and chew through the whole thing in one sitting.
- I could send someone a message via carrier pigeon.
- I could buy a carnivorous plant.
- I could make a 10 foot tall gingerbread house.
- I could buy six TVs and watch them all at the same time.
- I could take a bath in spaghetti.
- I could use it as wallpaper.
- I could paint the living room four different colors.
- I could buy cirque du soleil equipment to play on.
Your turn. Now notice your experience of doing this exercise and any resulting shift in perspective.
If you would like to explore any of these topics further, please contact me for a complimentary sample session. |
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Anna Rappaport, Esq. has been coaching professionals since 1999, and now specializes in leadership development for attorneys. She works with clients to help them manage staff, partners and clients more effectively; create and stay on track with career and business goals; expand business development and maintain a sustainable work-life balance. Anna’s clients are already highly accomplished people who are interested in achieving even greater success and satisfaction. Anna’s one-on-one coaching takes place by phone, and she works with clients across the country. Anna is based in the Washington, DC area.
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